Dare to Be Stupid

"Put down that chainsaw and listen to me"

(Today’s the first Friday of our Fridays-in-April program, April Flowers)

I had some rare spare time this week and decided to have a chat with Google Gemini about what constitutes a “successful” YouTube channel. As a newly minted YouTube “creator” (with a qigong channel with 13 subscribers and a forgotten 13-year-old music channel with 12 subscribers) I weirdly have a little skin in this game now.

Google Gemini was extremely shy to commit, but I got it to say the following by asking “what percentage of YouTube creators have more than one million subscribers?”

Gemini said:

“Extremely Small Percentage

• The percentage of YouTube creators with over 1 million subscribers is very small. Reports indicate that it's significantly less than 1% of all YouTube channels.

• Sources indicate figures as low as 0.028% of all YouTube channels. This highlights how rare it is to reach that milestone.”

So your next question might be - what magical qualities land YouTube creators in this echelon, if 99 to 99.972% of creators never get there?

Some of my very favorites in this elite club include

• Bad Lip Reading - 8.12M subscribers

• “Weird Al” Yankovic - 2.92M subscribers

• Tom Cardy - 1.88M subscribers

• Parry Gripp - 1.4M subscribers

Can you spot what my four favorites have in common?

If not, I encourage you to shop downmarket more often.

But I hope you do, and if so - that’s right.

All of these acts are unabashedly stupid.

As just one example, this is a YouTube video by Parry Gripp (animation by MousePack) that has over 1.8M views:

I LOVE IT

I LOVE IT

I LOVE IT

You don’t love it?

Please take three deep breaths and then go back and watch it again.

I don’t know why it works.

I heard the song first without the video and it was already hilarious - I think because it seemed so cheeky to write a song so stupid.

It’s audacious to write a song with this stupid combination of stupid words. “Giant Hamburger” contains 48 unique words, including:

Stupid synonyms for "big":
giant (appears 28 times) 
big (11)
super (3)
extra (3)
more (3)
gigantic (1)
great (1)
oversized (1)

Stupid burger-related words:
hamburger (20)
cheese (12)
burger (7)
bun (6)
patty (3) [this word is extra stupid and funny]

Miscellaneous other dumb, fun words:
dance (7)
fun (4)
sprayed-on (1) [also extra stupid and funny, I don't know why]
boss (1) 

So the words and the vocals and the melody and the instrumentation had already won me over.

Then I saw the video and it just killed me all over again.

LOOK at that guy.

That face! That guitar! Those spaghetti arms, I don’t know why, they make me happy instantaneously, I love them like you’d love a pet.

So this is the kind of stupid that gets you mad views on YouTube.

I gotta hand it to you, Parry Gripp, your kind of stupid is my cup of tea:

The unassuming Parry Gripp with stupid bunny and stupid instruments

And maybe you think this kind of stupid is only for stupid artists who don’t mind being stupid, like this dude with his ukulele and his bunny ⬆️ or “Weird Al” Yankovic, who is famous for being stupid. Catch his amazing 1985 song “Dare to Be Stupid,” for example, described as his “motto in life” and later featured in the 1986 film Transformers: The Movie.

Weird Al with stupid toothbrush and stupid toast in a stupid toaster

This jolly Devo pastiche has gotta be one of the stupidest stupid songs about being stupid:

Put down that chainsaw and listen to me
It's time for us to join in the fight
It's time to let your babies grow up to be cowboys
It's time to let the bedbugs bite

You better put all your eggs in one basket
You better count your chickens before they hatch
You better sell some wine before it's time
You better find yourself an itch to scratch

You better squeeze all the Charmin you can
While Mr. Wipple's not around
Stick your head in the microwave and get yourself a tan

Talk with your mouth full
Bite the hand that feeds you
Bite off more than you chew
What can you do?
Dare to be stupid

I really admire Weird Al for consistency here.

The liner notes of the Dare to Be Stupid album referred to his “Stupid Band” and “Our Stupid Guests,” and the album was celebrated with the 70-city “Stupid Tour.”

According to Wikipedia, the album was Weird Al's second Gold record and eventually became certified Platinum when sales topped 1M copies in the United States. The album was nominated for a Grammy Award for Best Comedy Recording in 1986.

You kinda gotta ask yourself, maybe this guy ain’t that stupid?

Or maybe stupid is okay for novelty acts like Weird Al and They Might Be Giants and Flight of the Conchords, but not for you and your Real Art!

So maybe this is a good time to tell you that They Might Be Giants was my #1 artist of 2023 according to Spotify Wrapped - that’s right, I gravitated to stupid music like theirs during one of the hardest years of my life.

In a time of crisis, I found that John Flansburgh and John Linnell of They Might Be Giants were two of the only people I trusted, especially John Linnell for no good reason

And Jemaine Clement, founding member of Flight of the Conchords, has grossed approximately $6B (yes yes B for BILLIONS) in worldwide box office for movies like Moana, Despicable Me, Avatar: The Way of Water, and Men in Black 3.

Perhaps Jemaine Clement spent half his money on this Fair Isle sweater

So maybe it’s time we get this through our little heads, my little chickadees:

1. Stupid can be GREAT for solace (for your audience and for you)

2. Stupid sells

Don’t believe me?

Watch “Giant Hamburger” when you are sad or mad, and see if you feel any better.

If you feel better, how much would you have paid to get that mood improvement?

$5?

$25?

$50?

On my worst days I would probably pay hundreds of dollars for a magic pill that could help me that much.

And let me assure you that stupid has been great for “serious artists,” too.

Three examples because I love stupid and I just can’t help myself.

Lou Reed's Stupid

1. It’s hard to think of an artist who sits higher in the rock/pop musical pantheon than Lou Reed, fellow traveler of Andy Warhol and innovator of the Velvet Underground and creator of the transformative solo album Transformer (1972) and inventor of the killer groove of “Walk On the Wild Side” and and f*ckin and. Lou Reed died in 2013 but still enjoys 4.5M monthly listeners on Spotify.

   

   The world would never be the same after Lou Reed’s album Transformer. Imagine it - “Walk on the Wild Side,” “Perfect Day,” and “Satellite of Love,” all on one album.

And cool as he was, Lou Reed was not afraid of stupid.

For example, 1992’s “What’s Good” (a song about a friend’s cancer, for God’s sake!) includes some stupid-sounding stuff like this:

Life's like a mayonnaise soda

Life's like space without room

Life's like bacon and ice cream…

Life's like Sanskrit read to a pony…

What good is seeing eye chocolate?

What good’s a computerized nose?

And this song was Lou Reed’s second #1 hit, after the song “Dirty Blvd.,” which also topped the Billboard chart of Modern Rock Tracks. The stupid “What’s Good” was the #1 rock song in the country for three weeks.

And you better believe this song helped me when a friend of mine had cancer. I would walk around singing, “What good is cancer in April? Well, no good, I guess, no good at all,” and I would actually feel better.

Laurie Anderson’s Stupid

2. Now let’s talk about Laurie Anderson. The fact that she married Lou Reed is not even one of the most interesting things about her. And I’ll talk much more in a future post about how Laurie Anderson’s album Big Science is my personal best example of how much a single record or cassette owned by a parent can affect a child’s musical life, and maybe even a grandchild’s.

But for today, let me say that Laurie Anderson knew how to get along with stupid. Maybe this is part of why she loved Lou.

In a future post remind me to tell you why Meat Loaf sings on Laurie Anderson’s 1989 album Strange Angels. Photograph by Robert Mapplethorpe.

One of my favorite of her songs is the inimitable “Babydoll” of 1989, which contains stupid lines like these:

I don't know about your brain
But mine is really bossy
I come home from a day on the golf course
And I find all these messages

Scribbled on wrinkled-up scraps of paper
And they say thing like:
”Why don't you get a real job?”
Or: “You and what army?”

Or: “Get a horse.”
And then I hear this voice
Comin from the back of my head (uh huh)
(Whoa-ho) Yep! It's my brain again

And when my brain talks to me, he says:
Take me out to the ballgame
Take me out to the park
Take me to the movies

'Cause I love to sit in the dark
Take me to Tahiti
'Cause I love to be hot
And take me out on the town tonight

'Cause I know the new hot spot. He says:
Babydoll! Ooo oo oo Babydoll Ooo He says:
Babydoll! I love it when you come when I call
Babydoll! You don't have to talk I know it all

We are not a million miles away from the stupid of “Giant Hamburger” here.

And yet this song appeared on Laurie Anderson’s album Strange Angels, which garnered her a Grammy nomination for Best Alternative Music Album.

I extra-special love “Babydoll” because Laurie Anderson shares what I believe to be an autobiographical anecdote in which she more or less admits to being stupid herself:

Well I'm sitting around trying to write a letter
I'm wracking my brains trying to think
Of another word for “horse”

I ask my brain for some assistance.
And he says: “Huh... let's see... how about ‘cow?’
That's close!”

The way Laurie Anderson says, “That’s close!” we can tell that she is poking fun at her own brain for coming up with this stupid non-solution for a synonym for horse.

Relatable.

And I use this song to console myself when my own brain whiffs a putt. I just think well if my hero musical genius Laurie Anderson’s brain can whiff a putt too then maybe I am not the worst person or single biggest idiot in the world.

That’s solace, friends! Get a horse!

Warren Zevon’s Stupid

3. For our third and final example, let’s chat with Google Gemini again. I asked, “Hey, Gemini, how successful is the Warren Zevon song ‘Werewolves of London?’”

Gemini was much happier to engage with this question than the one about YouTube creators. It said without hesitation:

“‘Werewolves of London’ by Warren Zevon is a song that has achieved a significant level of success and enduring popularity. Here's a breakdown of its key aspects:

• Chart Success

  • It reached No. 21 on the US Billboard Hot 100 in 1978, which was Zevon's highest-charting single.

  • It also performed well in other countries, demonstrating its international appeal.

• Enduring Popularity

  • The song has become a classic rock radio staple, continuing to receive airplay decades after its release.

  • It's a popular choice for Halloween playlists and has been featured in various films and television shows, further contributing to its longevity.

  • The song was also repopularized by its use in the movie The Color of Money.

• Cultural Impact

  • The song's distinctive sound and memorable lyrics have made it a recognizable and beloved track.

  • It has been covered and sampled by various artists, indicating its influence on other musicians.

• Recognition

  • It has been recognized for its opening line, showing how ingrained it is in popular culture.

In summary, "Werewolves of London" is considered a highly successful song, not only for its initial chart performance but also for its lasting presence in popular culture.”

Stupid cover to the single “Werewolves of London” featuring Warren Zevon who is itty-bitty for no good reason

And this song is stupid, ladies and gentlemen and everyone. It was written in 15 minutes more or less as a joke. That iconic “opening line” is just the beginning:

I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand
Walking through the streets of SoHo in the rain
He was looking for the place called Lee Ho Fook's
Gonna get a big dish of beef chow mein

Ah-hoo, werewolves of London
Ah-hoo
Ah-hoo, werewolves of London
Ah-hoo

Howling like a stupid wolf in the middle of your Big Rock Song! Saying “HA - I’d like to meet his tailor!”

We could definitely be at a party with Parry Grip and Weird Al and They Might Be Giants and Flight of the Conchords here, sports fans.

And this song, stupid as it is, has pulled me out of many a funk, the kind of funk that neither meds nor money could remove. Even when I don’t want to sing anything, I can catch myself yelling “Draw blood!” while driving around in my car.

Maybe this is why “Werewolves of London” has more than 153M lifetime plays on Spotify. That’s not just Halloween parties.

How to Be Stupid

Our culture places a lot of value on being smart and being seen to be smart.

If stupid is unfamiliar to you and you don't know how to start experimenting with it, I have some suggestions:

1. Remind your body that you used to be a kid, then take a trip to Goofball Island:

https://cherryredcoaching.substack.com/p/what-if-you-could-just-have-fun-with?r=u6d2

2. Listen to yourself when you feel a caprice, impulse, lark, or whim coming on. The stupider, the better.

Eat ice cream for breakfast, buy yourself something stupid at Target (if you are not boycotting them), see a stupid movie instead of a smart one, read a book like “The Stupids Die” instead of a smart one.

All The Stupids books by Harry Allard and James Marshall are great, but The Stupids Die is my personal favorite for no good reason

By coincidence the New York Times Connection puzzle was about following your whims this week:

Be Stupid Like Me

Still struggling to find the moxie to let yourself be stupid?

Let me show you an IRL example from myself for today.

I’m innocently scrolling the front page of the New York Times on my phone.

This stupid picture comes up:

I’ve been thinking about “Werewolves of London” all week so I notice this bizarre resemblance:

Can you see it?

Tiny Warren Zevon with his tiny salmon dinner down in the right bottom corner of some weird white tiny restaurant?

This is just stupid.

It’s really stupid to take the time to take all these stupid screenshots and share this stupid picture ⬆️ with you.

But making this for you made me happy during a tough week.

And maybe it brought a teeny-tiny smile to your face as well?

If I were Parry Gripp, I would go the extra mile (ha ha I first typed “extra smile,” that’s a great idea for a stupid title for something stupid) and write a song about Warren Zevon eating salmon whilst sitting on a piano, like this (4.6M views):

But I’m not just stupid, I’m also lazy, so I’ll leave the last mile of this stupid idea to you and your imagination. Enjoy!

Your Turn: Be Stupid, If You Dare

kk my little chickadees, over to you.

What might you accomplish today if you let yourself not worry whether your work is smart or not, or whether you are smart or not? Or whether you look smart or not?

Or even better, what might you accomplish if you actively allow yourself to think all your stupid thoughts and express all your stupid ideas?

Or even just let yourself follow one stupid whim. Click on something stupid on YouTube and see if it gives you any stupid ideas of your own.

What good is seeing eye chocolate?!

Get a horse!

Draw blood!

I know there’s a pony in there somewhere. I’ll find it and read some Sanskrit to it.

Go ahead and be stupid today.

And please report back.

Things are gonna change, I can feel it.

And don’t go it alone,

Genevieve