The Plan for after You Get Punched in the Face (Part 3)
Don't lose track of time and don't drive angry
This series reflects on Mike Tyson’s famous line that everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face. We reject despair and amplify joy.
Ways to Avoid Despair (3/10)
3A. Don't lose track of time
I can’t be the only person who feels like she has been locked in a mutant Groundhog Day (1993) since January 20, 2025.
The songs on the radio alarm clock may vary. “Good morning, many January 6th rioters pardoned by Trump attacked police!” “Good morning, Vance casts tiebreaking vote for Hegseth!” But for me, the past week has felt like the same very very long, very very bad day.
The passage of time in authoritarian regimes versus democracies is actually a topic of academic study. But it’s also common sense. It’s in an authoritarian’s interest to bludgeon the public with nonstop news and attacks on a continuous basis. You can call this “flooding the zone with sh*t,” Steve Bannon’s favorite strategy. Over time, folks become less aware of and less able to fight against any particular piece of sh*t. Exhaustion starts to be the norm. The passage of time starts to feel less and less important. How is today any different from yesterday? Why should I take any action today if I couldn’t muster up the energy to take action yesterday?
This is also why prisoners in those cartoons keep the tally of the days on the wall - to document that time actually is passing, even as every day feels exactly the same.
So you already know what I’m going to say next.
We gotta be like this prisoner, finding an implement and a surface that allow us to mark each day and prevent the complete blurrification of time.
We’ll talk more about how to identify your implements and surfaces in future posts. But for now, please start to think about how you can keep each day meaningful in the face of forces fighting to make you think all action is meaningless and all days are the same.
3B. Don't drive angry
Now let me suggest something else we should remember from Groundhog Day - do not drive angry.
A significant correlation exists between car crashes and stress. High levels of stress increase the risk of accidents due to impaired decision-making, reduced concentration, and slower reaction times while you’re driving. I wish I could cite an authoritative source here, but the first page of Google results is all personal injury lawyers trying to get your business, so you’ll have to take my word for it. You probably know this for yourself if you have ever had a bad experience driving under the influence of stress.
This happened to me on Thursday this past week - although it’s hard to remember which day it was since they all seem the same.
But I know it was Thursday because I dropped my wife off for a recurring appointment that happens on Thursdays. I parked very poorly at a parking meter because I knew I was just going to drive off again. As I backed out of the spot that I had just pulled into, I heard a man shouting and felt banging on the back of my car. Luckily some small part of my brain realized that it would be foolhardy to just keep backing up without taking in the new information that this dude was banging on my car.
I opened the windows and shouted out to him, “What’s going on?” and he said, “🤬, you 🤬🤬 , you almost just hit my car!”
Part of me wanted to just go ahead and hit his car, it’s too late, I already messed up, everything sucks anyway so what’s one more sucky thing.
Luckily the small part of my brain that had braked also realized it would be foolhardy to just keep backing up without at least trying to remedy the problem. I asked the guy, “Help me get out of here, please.” I may or may not have had tears in my eyes and/or my voice at that point.
The guy switched modes, started talking to me as if I were a spooked horse, and horse-whispered me backwards right out of the spot. He stopped other traffic so I could just get the hell out of there. When I was safely backed out, he came up to my window and said, “Hey, I didn’t mean to scare you, I’m a good guy, you’re fine, no damage.” The last vestige of civility! God bless this man and all his descendants!
I drove a block or two and then pulled over and had a full-blown post-anxiety release episode, with crying and laughing and shaking it out and realizing I had survived to fight another day - my main goal, after all.
But this was also a wake-up call that I have been driving around in a stupor - which really will kill you. Driving is the most dangerous thing most of us do on a daily basis. In the United States, car crashes are a leading cause of death, and kill at least 120 people every day. I wasn’t driving angry, but I was driving stupid because of the background stress we are all facing. I could easily have gotten in a much more serious accident.
So I’m trying something new now. I just started this yesterday and haven’t driven today, so it’s way too early to call this a habit, but let’s all try it together so we get more data faster.
When I sit down at the wheel, I put the keys in, turn the engine on, put my hands on the steering wheel, and take five nice big breaths before releasing the parking brake and getting in gear. I also decided not to listen to podcasts in the car, especially not news and politics podcasts, so I don’t flood the zone with sh*t at least within the borders of my own car. Let’s live to fight another day.
Don’t Drive Angry Real-time Update: February 11, 2025
Not long after I wrote this post, I managed to get into a car accident with myself within blocks of my own house. Single-car accident, another way of saying this person probably ain’t having the best day. Curse the clumsy metal curbs of San Francisco!
And this was *AFTER* I stopped listening to podcasts in the car.
Be safe out there, my friends. Threats multiply and the least we can do is try not to hurt ourselves.
Bonus: Two Ways to Cultivate Joy
Go on a flight of fancy. I thought the Spelling Bee team at the New York Times had let themselves go editorial for a moment there yesterday:
Not an autocracy, but an antocracy.
That’s a whole different movie - did anyone even see this one?
In the 1998 DreamWorks film Antz, you don’t remember but Gene Hackman played the evil General Mandible, the sarcastic, unscrupulous and arrogant leader of the ant military. Yes, that’s right, DreamWorks predicted this whole mess 36 years ago when they cast Gene Hackman as an ant leader trying to establish an antocracy. If only we had heeded their warning. Perhaps this is the secret signal the Spelling Bee team is trying to send us. There is still time to stop the antocracy!
So this way to cultivate joy boils down to - take your fun where you can. If a typo in the Spelling Bee can send you on a flight of fancy that delights you with a ridiculous idea for a conspiracy theory for even a moment or two, allow that to happen.
Find a furry friend.
Grab your nearest groundhog, kitty cat, or three-legged dog.
Pets always know today is today.
They don’t drive, much less drive angry or in a stupor.
They can ground you in one second.
Go ahead and allow that to happen.
If you don’t have a pet, find a friend who does.
Be safe out there.
And don’t go it alone,
Genevieve